2017 - Gratitude

Gratitude

My word for 2017 has been gratitude.

I have tried to reflect throughout the year on

gratitude.

What it means.

What it looks like. 

How it feels.

Gratitude in all things!

 

Not some things,

Not just the good things,

But in ALL things.

 

Life throws us curve balls,

and it is often hard to be grateful,

but cultivating a grateful heart is doable.

 

I have learned to be grateful I am not healthy.

Why?

How?

 

The why is easier.

When I was really sick and couldn't walk outside,

I could sit in my dining room and look out the window

and look at the trees,

the birds at my feeder,

the flowers.

And it seemed as if I saw every little part of those things.

The beaks, the feet, the feathers, the eyes of the birds.

The many shades of green in the leaves on the different trees.

All the shades of pinks and purples, and reds in the flowers.

For that, I was truly grateful.

 I prayed that if I ever got better, I wouldn't lose that.

And over the years as I have gotten better,

I have not lost that gift.

 

The HOW is more difficult,

because I'm not really sure how it happened.

But,

I do know I had to work at it every day.

It didn't happen every day,

It didn't happen all at once,

But as I worked at pushing out the sorrow

I allowed room for gratitude to creep in.

 

About 15 years ago, I was given about 30 days to live.

My lungs were failing quickly,

and I was not eligible for the double lung and heart transplant

I had been cleared for.

I had my affairs in order,

Plans had been made...

and then,

my lungs stopped getting worse.

My transplant surgeon said he had never had anyone gain more than 2% of their lung capacity back.

About 9 months later,

I gained 1% back.

Then 2%.

Then another 1%.

For the next 2 and a half years,

 I gradually re-gained about 40% of my lung capacity back,

Enough to come off the oxygen and out of a wheel chair.

Gratitude!

 

I still have rough days and weeks,

but the thing I prayed for,

not to lose the ability to see so many beautiful things,

I got to keep that gift,

and I try to use it in my art,

and in the classes I teach trying to help others see

what most people don't.

 

As another Thanksgiving passes,

I am grateful that I have seen 3 of my children get married,

7 grandchildren have joined our family,

and I am still here enjoying the beauty of life,

even though sometimes it comes in messy packages.

 

Gratitude is often easier to see in the rear view mirror.

Looking back we can see that what we thought were

terrible problems, actually cleared the way

for some pretty great blessings.

 

Trying to be grateful even when things aren't great,

has helped calm my heart through the trials of life.

 

I will continue to be grateful,

even when it rains,

when it's cold,

when I'm sick,

when I haven't seen my kids for a long time,

when a family member struggles,

 

Because somewhere in all of the messiness of life,

there is a lesson to be learned,

a blessing to be had.

 

 

Here's what Thanksgiving looks like with half my family.

My other two children and their families were not able to make it.

I spoke to everyone though

and they are healthy and happy.

How could I not be grateful.

 

GRATITUDE!